Courtship

What’cha doing?

What’s it look like I’m doing?

Painting turds?

Bingo.

They look great.

Thanks, my name’s Leon.

My name’s Jane.

…

I met this guy on the trail.

Yeeess…

He looked like a keeper but…

Yeeeesss…

I don’t want you to take this the wrong way.

Yeeeeesssss…

He was painting turds.

What color?

Gold, the turds looked great.

Was it messy?

No, he seemed a bit fastidious.  He used spray paint and had made a little spray booth from a gallon jug with the bottom cut out.  It worked really well.

How’d he coax the turds into the jug?

He had a litter scoop.

Sound’s like he’s really together.

That’s what I thought.  He’s coming by at 1.

May I stay?

I’d like you to.

…

Hi, I’m Leon.

Hi, I’m Jane’s friend Jane.  Jane’s in the kitchen.  Why gold?

Guilding the lilly.  I’m thinking of switching to candy apple red.  Or Colonial blue.  Green is too much like monkey shit.

You think?

Excuse me, I should say hi to the Jane in the kitchen…